Part I Part II Part III Part IV
We may, or may not have run out of money in El Peñon, and our Accountant needed to pick up a quick part time job to cover us for our remaining few days here…
A maid in Colombia costs something like 15000 pesos a day. Even if you’re not really that well off, you hire a maid just because you’re so fucking busy working 6 days a week. So, naturally, when you’re ’bout that middle class drug lord life’ like we are, not having a maid really isn’t a viable option. You hire said maid to not only clean up after your drunk ass, but cook you (with love) a fantastic BBQ’d meal. I would hire said maid mostly because I can’t cook for shit.
Belen was a delightful lady (she assured me on several occasions that the Virgin Mary was watching over me…at least that’s what I was told she was telling me) Her breakfast spreads were ideal for soaking up the Aguardiente/Tequila/Poker/Club Colombia residue from my hungover stomach.
This middle class drug lord life costs about $30/Canadian day. For $30, you can drink premium Club Colombia cervezas, smoke Marlboro Reds and lounge in a pool all day in a dumbass sailor hat and bitch about the heat, then have chorizo, blood sausage, arepas and fresh guacamole hand delivered to your wasted ass in bed the next day.
The remaining days in El Peñon were spent lounging around the pool, talking shit, listening to the first 2 Paramore records and trying to find Wi-Fi.
There were/was some barriers/awkwardness with these kids when we met them in that grocery store parking lot (this kissing hello thing will always seem weird to me…) and some social niceties that were misinterpreted in the actual grocery store, but they turned out to be an alright gang. We kept up with, and even out partied some of them for 4 days and 3 nights.
If any of their weird asses ever make it to Canada, they’ll have a couch to sleep on. I mean, not mine…but someones couch I’m sure.
Oh yeah, and my Accountant crashed a golf cart into a neighbours retaining wall. So there was that too.
Peace out El Peñon, you’ve been amazing, but we’re outta here tomorrow.
Bury Me In Vans 
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