You Are Here

Where you are is where you are, and that’s just the way it is. You’ve gotta know where you’ve came from to know where you’re going. From here to there, and back to here. The days just keep rolling on…yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah.

Describing this past year as the time I dropped a fresh slice of pizza on Front Street, toppings side down, and ate it anyway, would be an understatement. So, 2016…*takes 3 shots of tequilla* Well. It all started with this monkey. It was one hell of a weird ride. There was some yelling, some cussing, and some crying. Yadda Yadda Yadda, now a bunch of great people are dead and a facist reality TV star who took up politics last year as a hobby, is now the leader of the free world.

Yeah.

Uhhh, some positives? Let’s see…I made domestic travel my bitch.

I sleep alone now. Granted, not on the pile of money we millennials were guaranteed provided we simply ‘went to college’. It’s usually diagonally, and usually quite well. I’m 100% OK with that (It was probably inevitable anyway) and frankly, I prefer it.

I tried to write more this year. Hank’s advice on how to become a good writer? “Fuck a great many women, beautiful women…and drink beer. More and more beer…” We’ll I’ve tried that, and still only posted on this thing like 6 times this year. Moderately priced drinks. Single serving girlfriends. Uber’s home at 1AM. All of those things get quite expensive, and my bank account shows very little traces of the ~50 hour weeks I’ve been working since 2012. But, the drafts folder on this thing is more full of cheap scotch and water’s than Hank’s old man belly on a Tuesday afternoon.

I guess I’ll try harder next year.

Despite all this negativity, and the misanthropic, sardonic tone, answering ‘I’m fine‘ when asked is no longer an exercise in sarcasm. I actually mean it, and I’m not just faking it.

I listened to The Lawrence Arms and Jawbreaker on repeat. I finally figured out what the fuck Drake is rapping about…I think. It was the end of an era. Friends are friends, I guess. But friends are rare – some talk but never hear. To the people who are currently with me, I couldn’t have asked for a better turnout. And to those who aren’t – Fuck You.

I’ll catch ya’ll, when I catch ya’ll.