All of this actually happened, more or less. The drinking parts, I can guarantee, are pretty much true…from what I can remember. I really was asked if I wanted to buy cocaine 14 times in the 7 or so hours I actually spent in Cartagena proper. I really did see The Weeknd in the Crepes & Waffles at the Bogota airport (He really did know that I knew and It really was weird) I really did see a rather large lizard crawl along the wall into the air conditioner of my rather shabbily built, but reasonably priced Cartagena condo…which was actually on the outskirts of Cartagena. It was a $2 cab ride in to town, so I digress. It was the company that I cared about most. As per usual, I’ve changed their names.
So it goes.
Bury Me In Vans 
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