There was this girl in high school (she will remain nameless here) who, due to our last names being so close into the alphabet, always ended up sitting near me in every class we had together. The fact that we ended up in a surprising amount of classes together was odd, and suggested that we may have had some slight mutual interests. But in reality, we were polar opposites on just about everything you could imagine two high school kids possibly having in common. She hated me, and I hated her right back. It was high school, and I knew it didn’t matter. Now, you might think this was one of those “Ohhh, I have a crush on her, so I’m gonna throw rocks at her to get her attention” kind of things. I assure you, it was not. This was pure hatred.
It didn’t help that I was always pointing out her hypocrisies. She would tell everyone she was vegan, and that they should be too, but her favourite accessory was a leather purse. She tried to be a friend of the environment, but drove her dad’s full size Ford F-150 in from Hickson everyday. Yes, there is a village on the outskirts of my home town named Hickson.
One sunny spring afternoon, in the hallway outside of our law class that was about to begin, I was sitting on my skateboard, listening to The Almighty Trigger Happy on my Discman (that should date this story nicely) I guess she didn’t like the bagginess of my pants that day and, and she began to berate about my choice of lifestyle (which, at 16, consisted of skateboarding all day and night, sleeping ’til 3pm and watching Degrassi Jr. High reruns…clearly I was on the wrong path) in front of everyone. As a blase, nihilsitc teen, my quick, sarcastic wit was just coming into it’s own, and I responded without hesitation with something to the effect of “One day I’m gonna move to Toronto, skateboard to work everyday. I’ll still listen to The Almighty Trigger Happy, and I’ll be friends with Al Nolan, and you’ll be serving me cheeseburgers when I come home to visit” (Dialogue from Good Will Hunting was still fresh on my mind as well) To this day, that was the loudest and the most rude I’ve ever reacted towards another human being in public.
15 or so years later, I’m living in Toronto. I don’t skateboard to work every day (I’m working on making this happen though), but I still listen to Trigger Happy. I’m kinda friends with Al Nolan. He sang in Hell Yeah, Fuck Yeah with one of my oldest friends, Arse [of Project Wyze fame…(yeah, yeah, yeah Ok, I’ll try to get all your CD’s signed)] Al and I once talked in the back room of the Bovine for about an hour during a Canadian Music Week show. I was such a fan boy. I was probably spilling my beer all over myself with excitement as I told him about how his band was a huge part of the punk soundtrack of my teen years. He returned the favour/pat on the back and told me I was one of the smartest people under 30 he had ever met. I not too sure, but he may have been trolling me.
Now. You may think I lost that battle, seeing as how I struggle to pay rent on my shoe box apartment, daydream about riding a skateboard to work, and still idolize a 45 year old elevator technician. But, when I came home for a visit a while back, I saw my favourite high school nemesis working as a trainee at the Starbucks at the OnRoute.
And she burned my latte.
The moral of this asinine, roundabout, go-nowhere blog post is that, Trigger Happy is playing their second reunion show Friday (As The Almostly Almighty Trigger Happy – I missed the first one in Toronto, as I was dickbag drunk) and the aforementioned Arse is subbing in on guitar. Naturally, I’ll be there in the front row (but off to the side cause I’m taller, and a considerate human being now) acting like I’m 16 and thinking about what a bitch that Laura Stewart from high school was.