Category: Uncategorized
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We’re Not Here For A Long Time, But We’re Here For The Last Time…
Despite years of derogatory, mildly racist comments and jabs, my account and I were asked to be a part of some matrimony bullshit. The human equivalent of a handjob married an absolute angel and I, or more importantly my signature, were chosen to be a specific part of that beautiful ceremony/catholic charade. YYZ –> BOG…
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New Orleans is Sinking, Cause I’m a Fat Bag of Garbage That Eats 3 Beignets at Every Meal
That Tragically Hip song is actually really good. Actually, The Tragically Hip is really good. I kinda feel bad about all the shit I’ve talked over the years. Whatever. I would fly to The Mississippi Delta during hurricane season, when an actual hurricane is pounding people 2 states over. Look out everyone, Ol’ Two Tits…
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A Vacation. A Vacation From Ourselves.
XXXIV. Another year around the sun. Another 75,000 dollars or so. Another American road trip in a Hyundai Elantra sedan. Another chapter in ‘If You Like Coffee, You’ll Love Cocaine’. Another vacation. But still, a vacation. A vacation from ourselves. Currently, I actually feel like a very busy porn star, but that’s neither here nor…
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The Northside, The L&L and Any Number of Crappy Apartments – Chicago I
I spent the last day of my 33rd year strapped into the comfortable passenger seat of a black 2013 Hyundai Elantra. A black 2013 Hyundai Elantra that gets incredible gas mileage, even when you’re driving like a total asshole to keep up with other asshole American drivers. My Accountant and I are barreling westbound across 4 states via…
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23 Short Stories About La Belle Province – Part I
That’s Quebec, for those who aren’t fluent in my personal version of Franglais. There’s something about that province that turns me into a complete animal. Without fail, as soon as I cross that imaginary line on the map and the 401 becomes Auto route 20, I become a madman. First, it’s straight to Schwartz’s for a smoked…
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Refused Are Fucking Dead To Me…
Full disclosure: I was late to the Refused Party Program. Refused died at a house show in a basement in Harrisonburg, Virginia in front of a few dozen people. It was October 1998. It was their first North American tour, and it was a total disaster. Their European shows at the time weren’t much bigger, save…
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10 Years of Fear, Loathing and Self Employment
According to some whack social media blog I read to feel young and ‘with it’ (not working – see the use of the word whack at the beginning of this sentence) 80% of LinkedIn profiles contain the title of CEO. Am I to believe that 80% of the social media savvy workforce are Chief Executive Officer’s of well…
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YYZ –>BOG VI: LIfe in The World’s Most Expensive City
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V We packed up and left Condomino Campestre El Peñon and headed back through The Andes ( Is it The Andes? Do we know for sure yet? I’m sure it’s The Andes, someone look that up) back to Bogota. Even…
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YYZ –>BOG V: Those Mornings After Living Like A Middle Class Drug Lord
Part I Part II Part III Part IV We may, or may not have run out of money in El Peñon, and our Accountant needed to pick up a quick part time job to cover us for our remaining few days here… A maid in Colombia costs something like…
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I fucking Hate The Guess Who
I know, I claim to be into music of all genres. And I really am, honestly. I’m not one of those jagoffs who ‘loves everything except rap’ or ‘Can’t stand that country music’ Ask me to DJ your birthday party (Please do. DJ Dawson From Dawson’s Creek is for hire, and I’m cheap) You’ll get…
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No, Mr. & Mrs. Chen Don’t Have This Number Anymore…
I’ve developed a mild obsession with the (presumably) delightful Asian couple that used to have my phone number. At least 2-3 times a week, I’ll get a call or text from someone looking for one of the Chen’s. The caller always seems worried when they find out they no longer have the number, and apparently…
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1995
Some fine CanCon for the holidays. There was a fantastic period in the mid 90’s where MuchMusic actually played music. Also, the music was actually tolerable. Imagine that? Hayden – Bad As They Seem One of my top 5 shows was a Hayden show in a Montessori school gym during a blizzard. He’s still got…
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Bury Me In Vans 
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