Category: Shinfo
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Lost in The Sauce
This one hit me harder than the others. I’ve been wrestling with it for a while, and I figure I’ll just go for it. I won’t pretend like I knew Tony. But I’m gonna call him Tony anyway as if I did, because I’m an adult and I make my own decisions. The only time…
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Taylor Swift vs. Lana Del Rey
Second marriages are always hard. Especially on the kids. I remember the first time fell in love with Lan. I call her Lan, then she slaps me and says that’s not her name, and she’s not putting up with my nonsense. It’s a thing I like to pretend we have. So, I remember the first…
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You Are Here
Where you are is where you are, and that’s just the way it is. You’ve gotta know where you’ve came from to know where you’re going. From here to there, and back to here. The days just keep rolling on…yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah. Describing this past year as the time I dropped a…
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A Guided Tour of Chicago – II
Part I They’re the two young(ish) white(sort of) squatter(nah, we paid) kids(adults) with dirty(totally clean) undershirts and rotten(OBVIOUSLY NOT!) teeth. I’m a drunk with a job, I got the pictures to prove it. I got some junk in my trunk and the dance moves to move it. I am written on subway walls. I am…
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The Northside, The L&L and Any Number of Crappy Apartments – Chicago I
I spent the last day of my 33rd year strapped into the comfortable passenger seat of a black 2013 Hyundai Elantra. A black 2013 Hyundai Elantra that gets incredible gas mileage, even when you’re driving like a total asshole to keep up with other asshole American drivers. My Accountant and I are barreling westbound across 4 states via…
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Animal-Friendly, Anti-Facist, Gay-Positive, Pro-Feminist or: How Less Talk, More Rock Changed My Life
I once wrote about the worst of Winnipeg. Now I’ll write about the best. I had heard Propagandhi’s first record “How To Clean Everything”, after some enterprising individual obtained a copy (read: stole it) for me from a chain record store in my hometown. Take that Capitalism! I remember not really being into it. It was…
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23 Short Stories About La Belle Province – Part I
That’s Quebec, for those who aren’t fluent in my personal version of Franglais. There’s something about that province that turns me into a complete animal. Without fail, as soon as I cross that imaginary line on the map and the 401 becomes Auto route 20, I become a madman. First, it’s straight to Schwartz’s for a smoked…
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YYZ –> LAS: The Wave – III
Part I Part II Las Vegas, in daylight, is actually quite a sad place, and not dream-like in any way whatsoever. Ironically, the bright lights at night do a great job of hiding what, in reality, is a pretty run down, dirty shit hole. The hobo-sized beers you can buy at every Walgreen’s…
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YYZ –> LAS: A Savage AF Journey in Search of The American Dream RN – II
Part I Denny’s: America’s Diner, and an Embassy for the Country-less. I’m not going to bother explaining most of that reference. It’s an inside joke between my Accountant and I, and it’s not that funny. But now they serve booze at most locations. That’s great! They will however, forget to bring your extra side of bacon. That’s…
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2015: She’s Over Kids…
Drop out of college, move to the city, get a career anyway, and all this could be yours… 7 Weddings in 12 months. Shout out to my liver for getting me through all those table wines and complimentary Tom Collins’. and Johnny! 2015, you were pretty rad.
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I Can Tell You The Exact Moment I Fell In Love With Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift rules. Fight me. Taylor and I’s courtship began early on in her career. Way before the whole ‘I love Taylor Swift, yet I’m a grown ass man – I’m so ironic!’ phase we’re currently living/suffering through. I’ve been a proud Swiftie since somewhere circa 2007-2008, and I came out as such, because I don’t give a shit. If…
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Refused Are Fucking Dead To Me…
Full disclosure: I was late to the Refused Party Program. Refused died at a house show in a basement in Harrisonburg, Virginia in front of a few dozen people. It was October 1998. It was their first North American tour, and it was a total disaster. Their European shows at the time weren’t much bigger, save…
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Nailed It!
This grizzled scene veteran often works in the music industry but he can’t stand anything associated with it. He tends to be apathetic toward anything and everything, with the exception of the recent Hot Water Music reunion or his yearly excursion to The Fest in Florida. He daydreams endlessly about moving to Gainesville or Richmond…
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The Worst Day of My Life…
In life, the biggest fear I have (aside from that whole ‘being afraid of toads’ thing I got over in 2009) Is that one day I would end up being a victim on Just For Laughs Gags. I always loathed this show. Yet whenever I came across an episode while channel surfing, I would usually…
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Another Five…
Another year, another 5 things you’re going to be bored to death hearing me talk about… 1. Chumped – Apparently, girls won pop-punk last year? Female-fronted bands (Chumped, Alvvays etc.) were all the rage and making everyone’s ever so unimportant best of 2014 lists (side note: Dan Ozzi’s list is the only one that matters) I, on…
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BOG –> YYZ X: We Survived Colombia
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part IIX Part IX Sitting in our Bogota apartment on our last morning in the city, I’m drinking up the remaining dregs of the left over Colombiana and Aguila. The maid…
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YYZ –>BOG IX: Thirty-One
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part IIX The travels of Sal Paradise documented in On The Road spanned 7 years, and took Kerouac 3 weeks to write. I’ve always hated that book (for reasons I’ll gladly discuss with you…
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YYZ –>BOG IIX: Saturday
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Think summer vacation when you’re a kid, when that last week of August begins, and it starts to set in that you’ll have to go back to stupid school soon. You waste those final dog days…
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YYZ –>BOG VII: Fear and Loathing in Chia
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Alright, it’s about bloody time I get to this part. Andres. Chia. My Accountant and I have about 72 hours left in Colombia. As I’ve said waaaaay too many times throughout these aimless stories about being…
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YYZ –>BOG VI: LIfe in The World’s Most Expensive City
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V We packed up and left Condomino Campestre El Peñon and headed back through The Andes ( Is it The Andes? Do we know for sure yet? I’m sure it’s The Andes, someone look that up) back to Bogota. Even…
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YYZ –>BOG V: Those Mornings After Living Like A Middle Class Drug Lord
Part I Part II Part III Part IV We may, or may not have run out of money in El Peñon, and our Accountant needed to pick up a quick part time job to cover us for our remaining few days here… A maid in Colombia costs something like…
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Call The Office Band Practice, Turned Into LA Traffic
Single Mothers broke up in 2009 – and have been playing shows ever since. I remember going to that first show in August 2009 at Call The Office. I probably remember that night better than the band does. That first show was booked before the band had any songs. All they had was a name.…
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YYZ –>BOG III: Fuck La Policia
Part I Part II Ever look back on something and say ‘Oh shit, that was a crazy time’? Well, I remember the time I got pulled over by Colombian police twice in one day, and thought I was going to have to bribe my way out of the situation both times. So, moving…
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YYZ –>BOG II: Jurassic Park: The Ride
Part I That Alexisonfire song with that ‘anxiety chokes me like razor wire’ lyric that’s so overused by attention-seeking kids with questionable anxiety problems on Facebook. I’m going to use it to describe how every building in Bogota that isn’t falling apart is surrounded by razor wire. Bogota is an absolutely beautiful city, but the undertones of…
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YYZ —> BOG: Gate E76, Seat 22C
Save all your pennies in a grey ceramic pig. Sell all your shit to get on a plane, so you can fly away. Pretend to be gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and married (not that there’s anything wrong with that either) so you can get free international health coverage on a your…
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“I don’t like salad” and other lies I tell on a daily basis
There’s an old friend of mine that had a serious issue with compulsive lying. He was a solid dude, and one of my best friends, but sometimes the stories that came out of his mouth were downright hilarious. One summer during high school, he tried to convince us on 3 separate occasions that he was quitting school,…
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In Hate…
There was this girl in high school (she will remain nameless here) who, due to our last names being so close into the alphabet, always ended up sitting near me in every class we had together. The fact that we ended up in a surprising amount of classes together was odd, and suggested that we may…
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They Say The Classics Never Go Out of Style, But…
Given the title of this website, I guess I should write something about shoes at some point. So, ahem. New pair of shoes day! I’m so gross. Vans Authentics. Probably the simplest and most stylish pair of shoes Vans has ever made (and also probably the worst for your feet – both skateboard wise and…
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I fucking Hate The Guess Who
I know, I claim to be into music of all genres. And I really am, honestly. I’m not one of those jagoffs who ‘loves everything except rap’ or ‘Can’t stand that country music’ Ask me to DJ your birthday party (Please do. DJ Dawson From Dawson’s Creek is for hire, and I’m cheap) You’ll get…
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Yoj, You’re My World, You’re So Rad, You Were The Best Ride I Ever Had
Can you see the ninja in this photo? Didn’t think so… Never in my life have I become so attached to an inanimate object as I was to this somewhat reliable bucket of metal, bolts and rubber. After 14 years of faithful service, Yoji (Named after the mediocre tattoo apprentice from Miami Ink of course)…
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I’ve Always Been Bad at Public Transit
Always. I grew up in an oblivious small town in which a useless system of buses existed purely to appease senior citizens. I basically skateboarded everywhere anyway, so figuring out routes and schedules was never on my radar. Bad weather was rarely a factor. It wasn’t unusual to see me skating home after a party…
Bury Me In Vans 
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